ten years series and months of preparations

but my heart feels weighed down.
my morale is on rock bottom low.

a part of me is telling me to give up.

a part of me is struggling for the dream.

this makes me feel like crying and breaking down.

i may have overestimated myself. and underestimated the exam.

:(

words of encouragements doesn't exactly help much. not when people do not know exactly what I'm going through to prepare for this exam.

my memory feels like a blank.

it's like what ever i studied, just absolutely just gets wiped out, replaced with the newer stuffs that im studying on.

now i wish you were here with me, why did you have to go back to sg to play UF?
times like this, i just want to cry in ur arms.
and when im done crying i would wash my face, pour a coke, pick myself up and try again.

Lord, I need strength and comfort.

If i didn't change my exam date, I would have been done with the exams today. - That I would be solidly DEAD.
I still have 11 days to work on what ever I don't know, generate a whole lots of ideas for the writing sample and focus on the verbal reasoning during the exam.

my mind is in a mess. im rambling.

time to go wash my teary eye face now. and work on it.

till then.

xoxo
steph