How to ruin your life by 30?

Sitting at Starbucks on a rainy Sunday afternoon while waiting for the boyfriend to finish work and come over.
I know it's a Sunday! These boys really love to see my boy, 5 days isn't enough for them. They also want to have the weekend together with him! I'm jealous! *kidding*

Been doing quite a bit of readings these days, I guess I might have completed more than the 10 books that I set out earlier before in a even shorter time then I actually expected. Especially with the kindle, reading is no longer the same as before. I can read any time of the day, even in bed with the lights off! Yes, I know it's really bad for my poor eyes, which I consider myself blind. In the event that I lose my contacts or speckys, I'm so dead. I wouldn't be able to get home safely without walking into a drain and perhaps not be able to cross the road properly too. Oh why did I not take care of my eyes when I was younger. And why didn't I grow taller. I could be flying a plane right now. As if. Random dream that I created from thin air. Hah!

The book I have been reading and would like to share with you peeps would be " How to ruin your life by 30"  written by Steve Farrar.
My bff gf shared it with me and told me I must read it.
So now I'm sharing it with you guys and am telling you to read it.
It's a Christian book written mainly for young adults like me, actually starting younger would be even better. At least you don't need to regret more eh! Like for me, I'm almost reaching there. Not that soon. but feels really really soon.

They touched on quite a number of topics which I feel I'm going through right now. This has been a difficult time for me and my spiritual life hasn't always been the most awesome I know. The times I remember turning my eyes and heart to God and Jesus was the times when I was so far away from home. The relationship I had with God was solid like a rock. There were not as many distractions as I have here. And there were many lonely nights and trying times too. It turned me pretty close to God despite me not attending church because I can barely sleep at midnight, I often sleep at 3-4am to suit the Singapore time back then. But yet I faithfully listened to the word of God through the online sermons which helped me tremendously.

Currently right now, although I may live a life of what many would love to have, I'm not enjoying as much as what you might be thinking. I love to work. It brings out the best in me, yet the stress turns me to alcohol and partying, which is super not spiritual at all. However these few months of spending time at home and reading the word of God, has helped me quite a bit. Together with the bff gf, her constant encouragement, I feel like I'm preparing my heart for a spiritual battle in the future. When I turned back and look what has happened over the past 1.5 years during my work life, I started strong, I even had the words of God written all over my table, but only once in a while would I look up to read them. Even my desktop screen was on Corinthians 13:13. I started to think, is God preparing me to have a good solid foundation before I start work again? To know his words and purpose in my life? I do hope this is what it is. At least I know the time spent looking for that one job that He would like be to go forth to plant His seeds and words would be spent wisely with God's words and scriptures. On top of just reading this one book I have been doing my Read Pray Grow. I try not to miss doing it, but sometimes it's hard. Then I would I have to do a massive catch-up session. But what is a massive catch-up session to someone with all the time in the world right?

So what's God's purpose in my life? I'm still seeking.
Although many feel that I'm someone who cares about others, am able to relate to people. I wonder where would this lead me to?
Still pondering where would He want me to plant his seeds.
I have applied for a few "noble" jobs. It's noble because one consist of the future of biomedical research. some to share my passion and knowledge in biology and others to serve.
Still waiting. And still praying.

The other topic which I remember pretty clear would be on marriage/relationships.
He mentioned to walk away from a relationship which is ungodly. I must say, it's not like I didn't try.
I tried.
4 years ago, I told myself, I would walk away if he isn't a believer. But what happened? I couldn't. :(
It's sad to hear it, and even for him to read this. But he knows about this I'm sure. But I couldn't walk away. Lust of the flesh? My selfish heart ruling over what's spiritually right? I must say I wasn't strong enough then.
I don't know to regret or what? But all I could do is to pray for him. Try to be a good christian girl.
The author would definitely not encourage this at all. And I believe he won't agree with what I'm doing at all now.
But I can't just walk away.
:(
It's so hard. He is someone who completes me in some ways or another. Just not every way.
And he is someone I don't want to lose a fighting chance to help save him.

It's so difficult and I struggle with this constantly. A Godly Christian relationship is good because it helps the couple grow with Christ. You are on the same boat, same sea, same wave. It's so much easier to talk to each other. All those perks. Which I don't have any. :(

Will he turn to Christ one day?
I do hope so.

I will share more on the topic of marriage another time.

Till then!

Have a blessed weekend peeps!

xoxo
Steph

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33